The Aso Rock’s many miracles


Occasionally, as a human being, I give myself reality check. It helps to ‘edit’, whenever it is possible, what I might have said or did wrongly. While doing so recently, I realised that I have not been fair in my criticisms of GEJ’s administration. Not that I am a bigoted fellow, but emotions can sometimes steer us to paths we ordinarily will not tread. My emotions had clogged my mind, and I failed to see the fantastic achievements of GEJ.

I have seen the light now. Literally. If you have not, it means you are either blind or not in Nigeria. About 180 million Nigerians now enjoy 24-hour supply of power. Uninterrupted supply. Small and medium scale enterprises are enjoying the benefits of this miracle. What do you expect? A country of 180 million people is served by less than 5000KW of electricity.

The funds spent on fuelling generators have been ploughed into business expansion schemes leading to huge reduction in the level of unemployment in the country. Now, I believe the gospel of economic buoyancy preached by Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, though her economic jargons still elude me.

Apart from the glaring improvement in power, security of lives and properties has never been better in our 52 years of independence. One can walk down the length and breadth of this country without any form of accident.

Boko Haram insurgent has been extinguished totally. Not a single gun-toting and bomb-throwing criminal is left in the North. Rich people can travel down to south-East and South-South without the fear of being robbed or kidnapped. No such fear exists again. Nigerians live in absolute peace.  Police brutality does not exist in our collective lexicon of pain anymore. The men in black have now become, truly, our friends who we can trust without lives and belongings. GEJ magic. His good luck is rubbing off on us.

Have you not heard? Transparency International has ranked Nigeria No. 1 on corruption perception index. It gives me such a wonderful feeling to be the one breaking the news to you. Our elected officials can no longer siphon public funds into their private accounts without being slammed into jails across the country. They now rule with the fear of God. You want morally upright leaders? Nigeria is the place of choice because our leaders are now corruption-free.

Public infrastructures have been greatly improved upon. As I said earlier, power supply is now constant. Public healthcare system is top notch. Education enjoys fresh breath. There is social security for the aged and unemployed graduates.

Transportation system is seamless and our roads are free of gullies and potholes. The latter has raised a new concern though. FRSC has warned that the flawless state of Nigerian roads may lead to dangerous driving and over speeding, which may lead to death. I am sure our able presido is already thinking of a solution to that.

The conduct of Her Lordship, Mother of Nigeria, has been more than stellar. She has become a shining example to other first ladies across the world. Her personal philosophies have been ingrained into our collective consciousness. How do I know? Ask her son, Governor Rotimi Amaechi. He will expressly explain to you that the Theory of Sheppopotamism stipulates that five is greater than 26. This theory is an offshoot of eNGeeFism Law, which states that 16 is superior to 19 regardless of any hard evidence to the contrary.

There are other equally laudable achievements that Nigerians are yet to see. I hope the many detractors (especially Lai Mohammed and his APC gang) of GEJ would be kind to acknowledge these miracles.

Keep a date with me as there are many more to share

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